Like many recovering women and moms, “fun” often falls to the bottom of the to do list for me (if it’s even on there). Who has time for fun? I’m WORKING! I’m working being a mom, I’m working being a Psychologist, I’m working running a household!
However, all work and no fun makes … NO FUN! And when there is no fun, this is a set up: for burn-out, depression, relapse, cross addiction, cynicism, unhappy marriages, cranky kids, and wistful fantasizing about times when play included things other than matchbox cars and dressing up like Elsa for the five hundredth time.
Here are some FUN ideas that have worked in our house:
- Get Creative in Your Child’s Play by Being Silly Yourself.
(And create a Halloween costume other than Elsa or Star Wars)
If your child likes to dress up like Elsa, and you feel like you are going to throw up if you have to be her sister, Anna, one more time, be something YOU want to be! Put on black clothes, cut out little green dots and be a Black-Eyed Pea! (That is a free Halloween costume idea. You’re welcome. You can now have fun being something-other-than- yet-another-Star-Wars-Princess-Zombie-Superhero walking down the block on October 31st). You can now dance around singing “I’ve Got a Feeling…”
If YOU are having fun, your child will, as well. If they are laughing, that is the goal. Little ones laughing are the equivalent of liquid gold. And who says Elsa can’t play with a singing, hipster vegetable?
2. Have Fun with Literal and Non Literal
My husband came up with this one when he couldn’t take another 2 hours of matchbox cars racing around:
It’s a Traffic Jam 🙂
Another thing my little one and I have done is put letters around the house on things that start with that letter. You can play with puns like the letter “T” on the Tea box, and the letter “P” on the potty where your little one goes “Pee.” This can be fun for a few minutes during the witching hours. Every little bit helps.
3. Create a Weekly Ritual
Our family has movie night every friday. I know some moms that have actually created theme-meals to go with the movie: “poison” (caramel) apples with Snow White or Pumpkin cake with Cinderella. Olaf eggs for Frozen. (More ideas. You’re welcome.)
I myself am too f-ing tired by friday to do this. We order out and have it delivered. Permission to do this. And if you are in recovery and not a Mom, if you have a fabulous (or good enough) babysitter, then by all means go OUT to a movie!
4. Find a Special Place to Visit Regularly.
It could be a redwood forest or a tree near your house. Whatever this place is, visit it regularly to connect with the-part-of-you-that-knows. This may not be fun in the traditional “Hey, let’s have some fun!” light-hearted kind of way. However, it is the ground from which all creative and fun energy arises. Your Soul/Wise-Mind/Intuition will appreciate having a regular place where you breathe, rest, and reflect. Find a Grandmother tree or create an altar in your home where you can be still. This is that quiet place that is under all the noise of Busy-ness. It is the ocean that all the waves crash back into. Let your mind rest there.
5. Connect with a Friend to Do the Fun Thing You Never Let Yourself Do
Take a moment to ask yourself what you really like doing, but never allow yourself to do. Now: create a date with a friend to do that. Whether it be collage-ing, making art, painting, dancing, yoga, or getting a pedicure, making a date with a friend will make you more likely to actually do it. This accountability can help give you both permission to take having fun more seriously 🙂 Do it before you reach this place, because when you reach this place, you are no fun:
Many Blessings and Have Fun!
As I’m wrapping up this month’s theme of CREATIVITY, I’m reflecting on some of the fabulous resources I found for recovering women, moms, people who think-they-are-not-creative, and mommy-preneurs (which I’ll share at the end of this blog).
One of those resources was The Right Brained Business Plan by Jennifer Lee (Novato: New World Library, 2011). In it, she offers all kinds of creative tools for entrepreneurs, mommy-preneurs, and people recovering from vagueness in their finances and their visions (which is a lot of recovering people!).
One exercise looks at the values you want to embody, and that you want your business to stand for. As I started to collage this, I realized the best way to image it was to use the thank you notes I have accumulated from clients over the years. These expressions of gratitude most clearly vision WHY I do this work and feed the values I believe in, and want to continue to cultivate in being a therapist:
Listening to your Heart, Trusting your Body, and Finding your Recovery Voice
Mostly I want my clients to know: YOU CAN DO THIS. I believe in you. It is possible to recover. I am so grateful to have been given the gift to be of service to help women on this journey. As they say in recovery, You can’t give it away unless you have it, and you cant keep it unless you give it away.
Stay tuned for lots of fabulous GUEST BLOGGERS as this month’s theme is CONNECTING.
In the meantime, here are a few fabulous creativity resources for recovering women, moms, and mommy-preneurs. (This is by no means an exhaustive list):
- The Artists Way or The Artists’ way for Parents By Julia Cameron
- The Creative Journal (or anything else by) Lucia Cappicione
- Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert
- Bird by Bird, Operating Instructions, or Help, Thanks, Wow by Anne LaMott
- Soulcollage Evolving by Seena Frost, MFT
- How to Make MeCards: Creative Expression for Children and the Grownups in their Lives by Nancy Weiss, Jane Raphael
- The Right Brained Business Plan by Jennifer Lee
- Momosas: Fun Alcohol-Free Drinks for Expecting Moms (and those that are sober) By Paul Knorr
- Color with Me, Mom! Color, Create, and Connect with your Child by Jasmine Narayan and Hannah Davies
- Between Mom and me: Mother Son Journal by Kayie Clemons