Sometimes S’mores are Dinner and You Have to Let the Bad Feelings Out Before the Good Feelings Can Come in
Like many mothers, one of my fears is that my child will eat only sugar and therefore not grow (have deficits in attention, develop an eating disorder, etc.). When moms have this fear, what do they do? Often, they swoop in and try to control. Here’s what it has looked like in our house:
Me: “Eat your broccoli.”
Little one: “No.”
Me: “Eat your broccoli or no dessert.” (Yes, I am ashamed to admit I have resorted to this in my not-so-enlightened moments as RecoveryMama)
Little one: Takes tiny bite of broccoli floret- like half of a child’s pinky fingernail size- runs around making a horrible face as if being tortured while chewing, swallows, says “Done. Where’s my dessert?”
So, as you can see, my child now loves eating vegetables and we are living happily-ever-after on an organic broccoli farm. The End.
(Just kidding. This is the beginning. The rest is guest blog on on RecoveryWarriors, a fabulous eating disorder recovery resource. Click Here to continue reading)
In introducing this month’s Butterfy Effect theme of CONNECTING, I am honored to share an interview by the founder of Recovery Warriors, Jessica Raymond, MS. Recovery Warriors is a multimedia resource hub for hope and healing from an eating disorder. Here is a link to the podcast: RecoverywarriorsPodcast
The desire to become a mom can be a motivating factor in eating disorder recovery. However,the challenges of pregnancy and the postpartum period mirror the early stages of recovery. Both pregnant and new mothers and women recovering from eating disorders experience anxiety, body image distress, difficulty sleeping, hormonal changes, appetite changes, and ambivalence/excitement/distress around cultivating a new identity. In this episode of The Recovery Warrior Show, expert Dr. Linda Shanti shares personal and professional stories of recovering from an eating disorder and entering into motherhood. Listen in regardless of where you are at in the biological cycle because there is much to learn.
What You’ll Learn
- Why people don’t talk about miscarriages
- How pregnancy is similar to early stages of recovery
- Why you need to be proactive in seeking professional help before having a baby?
- Why how a mother eats affects her child
- Is there a right time to have a kid
The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. -Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh
Advice to Former Self
You’ll get through this honey, you will. It’s going to change you and it is changing you and that’s ok; that’s the way it’s supposed to be. There’s no parallel life that you’re supposed to be leading; this is it, this is not a detour. Just because you’re suffering doesn’t mean you’re on the wrong path; you’re absolutely on the right path. Keep going.
Definition of Recovery
Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually. Not engaging in behaviors that hurt me. Moving toward growth edges. Accepting my body as it is. Allowing and inviting all feelings. Lowering the bar on perfectionism. Thinking in the rainbow between black and white. Listening to my heart and connecting with a larger purpose.